Today has been one of those days. The days when it might take you three tries to do something you normally can get done in five minutes with no stress. I have spent many hours trying to figure out what causes these days. There does not seem to be a rhyme or reason that I am in control of.
However, I do have control over my response!
These are the days I have learned to first acknowledge, then make a conscious decision to be kind to myself and to breath. I also chose to focus on what I am grateful for. This then does not give the day the power to create negativity or frustration.
During my Ayurvedic studies at the Chopra University, I learned about the accumulation of ama (toxic residue) in the body and it’s effects on our well being. Accumulated ama can really effect the quality of life your life and can be a precursor to disease. Some of the common symptoms are: fatigue, cranky, lack of concentration, depression, overweight, pain in the body and joints, and the list goes on.
After my amputation I began making efforts to minimize as much toxic interaction as I could. I started by switching cleaning products out for all the Young Living cleaning supplies. I also keep a diffuser running purification essential oil on a weekly basis. I was amazed at all the positive effects!
I get the perk of feeling good about spending money with such an amazing company. I know that my dollars are supporting a company with integrity and one that gives back in many services to the world!
I am excited to begin teaching a class on chronic pain and essential oils!
Qigong and meditation are my favorite ways to begin my day. I taught an evening qigong class at sunset on the beach of Oceanside, CA. I know that my daily practice of this discipline is what prepared me for life after the loss of my leg!
Where the mind focuses energy goes. These practices amplify positivity and healing. Each surgery where In used medical Qigong my healing process was much faster. At one of my appointments after my surgery my surgeon said: “whatever it is you are doing, keep doing it.” through 24 surgeries I know that Qigong has supported me in embracing and accepting my condition. It gives me the hope and determination is takes me to continue to learn how to walk with a prosthesis and not let the loss of my leg keep me from enjoying life!
I Deal with nausea many days of the week. My body is still recovering from many IV antibiotic treatment, Chemo medication, and surgeries.
There are many tools I use. One day, breath work will help, another day eating an apple, or peppermint tea or oils…The lists go on.
However, yesterday I had a new experience. I was in that place of being sick and tired of feeling sick. I felt my mind slipping into that downward spiral of feeling sorry for myself and into the dark cloud I call the big D (depression). Preparing for an attack. Before the fighting began something happened. I sat up with an exhilarating feeling of surrender and “Fuck this”! I pulled out my lap top and wrote. It was like a mental damn breaking through. Thoughts, memories, lessons I have learned all being expressed and released through each word I typed. I wrote and wrote and wrote. Two hours later I stopped. I checked in with my body and for the first time in days my nausea was gone and I had energy. I felt a sense of freedom like I had been released from some kind of mental prison.
Something I have realized dealing with chronic pain and health problem is sometimes the physical symptoms are caught up in some kind of psychological web. Once cleared up, or a belief being changed, or a just new perception can change everything. Even if the symptoms don’t quite go away my experience of them does.
It truly is amazing how much difference your life can be by just making a decision to change your perception. Allowing only thoughts aligned with our new perception. So much has happened in the last four years. Last years amputation was a true test of perception change.
Instead of felling a struggle everyday learning how to get around with one leg and get my needs met. I looked at it like a challenge. Like an obstacle course. This made the challenge feel exciting, not frustrating.
And of course staying gratitude reminds me I am surrounded by wonderful people and having lost my right leg does not make m life miserable unless I let it.