Using your Past the right way

Recently, I have experienced some beautiful moments. Moments that had me thinking: How did I get here? Beautiful accomplishments that had me in tears.
I worked very hard to get here. There were so many years that my past and my outside circumstances dictated my life in a negative way. It was like one negative experience beget another negative experience. The worst part about it was I did not know I had any control over the things that were happening. It was not until things got so bad and I got so sick that thins changed. It changed because of a decision I made followed by continuous action. After my leg was amputated, I had a choice to make. Who did I want to be? I decided I wanted to live. I was not going to let my amputation noir my pain bring me down. I will never forget that day. I started reading books that would teach me how to live under the circumstances I had. I began watching amputees who were professional athletes. I got up every morning and started new rituals. I went to bed expecting to wake up feeling better instead of worse. I fed these new thoughts and beliefs minute by minute. I would catch myself when the old way snuck itself back in.
Yesterday, I hit a milestone that had me in tears.
I was told I would never walk again. I read articles that said my prosthetic was 100 times harder to learn. I had so many days my thoughts would tell me I was getting worse, that there was no use working out and learning how to walk.
Yesterday, for the first time in many years. I walked to my car, drove to Hangar by myself. I walked out of my appointment and began to cry. For a moment I stood there forgetting I was even an amputee! I almost did not go, because the fear in my stomach was so powerful. The first thoughts in my head told me I couldn’t do it. Thank God by now, I knew how to recognize the old lies. My new knowledge kicked in and I told myself: It is time. If you never do it, you will never do it. I can not even describe to you in words the exhilaration and gratitude I experienced yesterday for being alive. The gratitude for the gift to walk!
If you are stuck, hurting, or want more information please fell free to contact me or follow me on Face book.
Emily Sunderland

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