The other day someone was sharing with me the conflict that was occurring in her relationship. I have had many relationships that did not end well. Until I learned to look at my part and ask myself questions about my motives, I struggled with creating a healthy loving relationship. It is so important to know things about yourself and why you do certain things.This way when something comes up, first I can ask myself: ” How important is this?” Why is this important? and then “What is it I need” . These things might sound so simple on paper, but when a situation triggers charged emotions with someone that you love there are some deeper emotions that can be triggered that have nothing to do with the present situation. If I do not know myself, nor know what matters to me, these things come out in all sorts of dysfunctional manners. If I am in a relationship with someone I can be vulnerable with, communicating our fears and needs is a lot easier.