Feelings

I just came home from visiting my mother and attending my aunts Celebration of life. I got to see my first cousins whom I have not seen in about 25 years. My sister was also there. My sister and I drove up to CT together from my moms in Massachusetts. I experienced so many different emotions. I embraced these feelings with love. (something I have really never done before) I allowed the grief to wash through me, then joy, anger, sadness….It made me think about how afraid of feelings I use to be.You know the ones we call the “bad” ones. Anytime one of these uncomfortable feelings came knocking I would slam the door shut, or burry them deep within. Life was very black and white then. I know that feelings do not kill me, and the sooner I let them come the sooner they pass. Allowing myself to experience all these emotions has create a life full of color. I never felt Joy until I stopped cutting myself off from the world. This has opened my heart. With an open heart I feel compassion and love for others in a way that was not possible before. I no longer label my feelings good or bad, because they are all a part of an exceptional mosaic!

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